...and I never need to see the sun again, there's enough light in your eyes, to light up all my world, so take me, take me away, kill me slowly, I'll never be the same... i will not be broken though I am the one that bleeds... A T R E Y U

   

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Apr 3, 2005
xHATEx

I have lost the touch... with writing and drawing
pretty much whatever requires my brain and some art

I have lost the will... to write to draw
thinking of it makes me irresolute, i know i can

I have lost the feel... of love
which is the scariest of them all

I know I love Greg, but sometime
I just don't know, I can't feel it

I can feel anger, disappointment
rejection, and the lose of myself

I'm enveloped in deceit
I put myself there

Here's my attempt to get out
Here's my attempt for survival

Wish me luck
I hate me...

Goal:
  Feeling

Posted at 08:48 pm by wrecked
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xSEEINGxREDx

So, yesterday [4.2.05] about 2:40ish, we lost the Pope. I heard he was a good Pope so that's sad. The Pope's Puappet is now Popless... how hopeless it sounds... Well, I'm not one that's concerned with 'god' but I am concerned with people... my mother told me to pray and I gave her an answer that shocked her and then she told me I was my fathers child, to that a simple, duh sufficed.

I went to Greg's house too. I really like it there. Not that we have much freedom but the whole ambiance. The little kid, Andrew, Dewy, was there. What a spazola. lol. As all littel kids are. And then I saw the most amazing thing ever. Greg's mom in action. The little kid was being a brat and she was just Uber Mom. I've never seen such a thing happen. It was good to watch. She was nice and tickled him. I just remember her beign very nurturing. I wanted to watch more but the moment ended... I was in awe though. She was just natural at it. And then I thought about Greg's childhood. How it must have been good. I sat there watchign, imagining a little Greg being spastic and then his mom coming to settle him down. And then I thought about his Dad. He isn't there a lot but he still is a good father. Witty, smart, involved... the whole thing was surreal. I desperately wanted to see more, just observe. And then it hit me, I could never have children. If I did I would want to be just like Greg's mom. I could never be though. I don't have it in me. Greg would be a good father though. Saw him in action with my own two eyes. But I could never do it. I left feeling crappy... but with a smile. I left thinking as I almost always do.

Posted at 02:07 pm by wrecked
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Apr 2, 2005
xoLOVEox

[4.2.05]

xoLOVEox

Greg

Since
[3.6.04]

I love him
He love me

We love each other

He is my first boyfriend
He has all my firsts

First Love
True Love
Only Love

Mi Amore


Posted at 11:01 pm by wrecked
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